The People of Reddit are always up to no good.
Got chatting to a girl in a bar wayy too drunk at this point, didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere, decided to call it a night and left by myself.had a nice subway on the home (spicy Italian). just about to crash out, I get a call from my mate still at the bar, the girl I was chatting to wanted to know where I had gone when they explained I had gone home, to which she replied with can I have his address?15 mins later my mate hot dropped me a random drunk chick to my place. nearly fucked me to death.
Met a girl at a Peruvian bar. She grabbed me and we got into a cab. Couldn’t find her hotel, so she wondered into a construction site and fucked on a drafting table on the unfinished 3rd story as the sun rose.
We drove out to a random back road and found a dark and shadowy driveway, parked it, and proceeded to have sex.
Gay friend in college was hanging out with a few other gay dudes and a girl from out of town that just broke up with her bf. Got a text from him saying “there’s a girl here that just needs rebound sex and we’re all gay.” I thought he was drunk and messing with me, but no, it was all true. I showed up, it was awkward as hell, but we did have some awkward as hell sex, which was still good for me at the time.
My favorite is probably the girl who paused things for a minute so that she could go “put on some mood music.” The music she put on was a few tracks of herself singing.
Not the church… I was at a casualties show but I had seem the many times by this point so I was hanging out in the bar and a slightly older gal was looking awkward and alone so I started making small talk and she said she used to go to punk shows all the time when she was young but got married and had kids and crap, she goes on to tell me how she got divorced and this was her first time out since. So being the gentleman I am I asked if she wanted to go somewhere more private. We ended up banging behind some church she said her family attended down the street and afterwards we parted ways never to see each other again.
I was staying at a friends house for a long weekend, and had a 6 am flight out on Sunday morning.After last call on Saturday I returned to pack. My friend had invited two random girls to hang out. They said no, but he gave them the address anyway and they later showed up. At around 3 am they mentioned they drove over so I asked girl 1 if they would give me a ride to the airport at 4:30, and she agreed. Girl 2 joked “yeah, and we can fuck in the backseat” I chuckle but girl 1 goes “I think it’s too small, but could work” and my friend says “probably too small, but our bathroom is right over there.” I toss a head nod in the direction of the bathroom and she led me in. It was 6/10 sex, but came with a free ride to the airport so you can’t beat that.
The sex fairy: some of my friends came over and brought this girl who I had never met before, she was really cute and liked to smoke. We smoked and drank all night, but this girl was just super interested in getting literally as high as possible. So after what had to have been bong number 4 or 5, her and I were the only ones left standing. It got kind of awkward because her and I were just sitting there in silence until she walked over, grabbed my hand, lead me upstairs and fucked my brains out for like two hours. I woke up the next day and she was gone. I can’t even remember her name but thank you sex fairy. Where ever you are.
Got bored on +5hour trainride, went to smoke cigarrettes to pass time and there was my age alt girl trying to kill time too. Had some chatting and suddenly we just decided to go have a fuck in 1 squaremeter, ice cold, train toilet. Was fun, but probly won’t do it again
Picked up hitchhiker and took her to her house. She invited me in for beer and tacos. Then asked if I wanted to take a shower since I just got off work. I did and she joined me. Her two kids were sleeping in the house. One of them was around my age at the time.
A long trans-atlantic flight. It started with just talking, but then hands brushed against hands, and then they lingered, and by the end we were touching each other under blankets while the rest of the plane slept (or watched…to be honest, I didn’t care).She was staying in a dingy hotel all the way across a pretty shady town from me. We landed at 2am. I decided to make the walk because, well, sex. Worth it.
Met a girl in tinder, she invites me to an Ed sheeran concert, as soon as I walk in her hotel room she’s all over me. We make out, go to concert, get back and we start fucking. There’s blood everywhere, I ask if she’s on her period, she says no and wants to continue. We fuck for a bit then I go to bed, my plan was to crash for a few hours, wake up and leave (after showering the blood off my junk), she wakes me up at 4am by jacking me off, wants to fuck again. I oblige, more blood, we go to sleep, I wake up shower and drive home. Never spoke again.
It was my best friends birthday, and I got piss drunk. This is important because a) I usually don’t drink (in fact, I completely quit recently) and b) my judgement was impaired beyond belief.
So, drunk and horny as I was, I chatted up a similarly drunk girl. We left after about 5 minutes. Sounds great, right?
We fucked on some trash bins, outside, in January. No condom, 5 minutes tops. She gave me an STD.
My roommate invited a girl over, who brought her sister as wingman. The sister and I hit it off, and when my roomie and the girl he invited over headed to his bedroom, I banged the sister on the floor in the living room. Banged her again in the morning for good measure.
Our 27th wedding anniversary was last June.